The barbarian

It’s time to tell a story about our little barbarian.

In the night, when Conan is outside and before I go to bed, I head to the front door to call him in.

One night, as usual I opened the door to pitch blackness and called out in our secret code.

‘Pss psh psh’

This special code language means ‘Come in now, hurry up I’m sleepy’.

I didn’t have to wait long this night, because Conan appeared with a muffled meow.

I did not notice the meow was muffled, as his meows differ a lot, he likes to change things up so I did not take notice.

This night, I learned a big lesson.

As Conan approached the doorway where I was standing, he made his way immediately right past me.

A cold wet something slid past against my leg.

From sleepy to confused. Very confused.

No time to speculate, hopefully it was just his tail and he was wet.

He made his way for some reason straight to the living room between the kitchen and dining table.

It was still dark. I heard something land with a slight ‘squelch’. Like a heavy wet sponge falling to the floor.

He meowed again. This time not muffled.

I closed the front door. Turned to walk down the hall to the kitchen.

what was it. What was that? I just need to know what it was…

I turned on the kitchen light.

And there

was a rat

a BIG rat.

a dead rat.

fresh.

On the floor.

Conan sitting next to it.

Proud.

Mouth wet with blood. Covered in dirt.

This was a cat who fought hard.

A mighty battle to the death he fought.

All I could think, was how disgusting the colour of the wet fur around his mouth was.

As he sat.

Looking at me.

I look at my leg.

a wet bloody streak across my shin.

The rat’s tail.

the DEaD RAT’S COLD TAIL BRUSHED MY LEG.

A BIG ASS TAIL.

this rat was BIG.

Let’s just say.

This was no longer a normal night.

I was no longer about to sleep.

The aftermath

Conan did not understand why the dead rat was yeeted outside.

Conan thinks I am stupid.

I think Conan is gross.

We agree to disagree in the end.

I did end up forgiving him.

But I will NEVER forget that cold wet tail against my leg. Never.

Thank you Conan.

Thank you.